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〃You'll need help loading them。 And I don't want to be away from you； truly I don't。〃
Lazarus stopped and looked at her。 〃You're more upset than you let on。 That's mon； too…steady in the clutch； then a reaction afterwards。 So let's work it out。 I don't fancy leaving the kids alone that long； nor do I want them in a wagon loaded with all that bad meat。 Suppose I drive just a short distance tonight…say three…hundred meters or so…while you start a kettle of water？ I'm going to want another bath after this job even if I manage not to get a drop of blood on me。〃
〃Yes； sir。〃
〃Dora； you don't sound happy。〃
〃I'll do it your way。 But I could wake Zaccur and have him baby…sit。 He's used to it。〃
〃Very well； dear。 But first we load them。 You can hold up their feet while I drag them。 If you throw up； I'll assume that you'll baby…sit while I finish this chore。〃
〃I won't throw up。 I ate very little。〃
〃I didn't eat much either。〃 They got on with the grisly task； Lazarus continued to talk。 〃Dora； you did a perfect job。〃
〃I caught your signal。 You gave me plenty of time。〃
〃I wasn't sure he was going to push it to a ahowdown even when I signa~ed。〃
…〃Really； dear？ I knew what they meant to do…kill you and rape ？e…before they ever sat down to eat。 Couldn't you feel it？ So I made sure that they ate plenty…to slow them down。〃
〃Dora； you really do sense emotions…don't you？〃
〃Mind his head； dear。 When they're as strong as that； I do。 But I wasn't sure how you would handle it。 I made up my mind to be raped all night if that was what it took for you to set up a safe chance。〃 ' …
Her husband answered soberly； 〃Dora； I will allow you to be raped only if that is the only possible way to save your
… life。 Tonight it was not necessary。 Thank goodness！ But Montgomery had me worried at the gate。 Three guns out… in the open and mine still under my kilt… Could have been a problem。 Since he meant to take me anyhow； he should have done it then。 Durable； three…fourths of any fight lies in not hesitating when the time es。 Which is why I'm so proud of you。〃
〃But you set it up； Lazarus。 You signaled me to get into position； you stayed on your feet when he told you to sit down； you went around to the end of the table and pulled their eyes with you…and stayed out of my line of fire。 Thank you。 All I had to do was shoot when he got out his gun。〃
〃Of course I stayed out of your line of fire； dear； this isn't
…my first time by too many。 But it was your straight shooting that gave me time； to put my knife into Dan instead of having ；to settle his father first。 And Lady did me the same favot with Darby。 You two girls saved me from having to be three places at once。 Which I've always found difficult。〃 …
〃You trained both of us。〃
〃Mmm； yes。 Which detracts not at all from the admirable fact that you held your fire until he mitted himself…then lost not a split second in taking him。 As if you were a veteran of a hundred gun battles rather than none。 You might go around and steady the mules while I get this tailgate open。〃
〃Yes； dear。〃 …
She had just reached the lead pair and spoken soothingly to them when he called out： 〃Dora！ Here a minute。〃
She came back； he said； 〃Look at that。〃
It was a flat piece of standstone he had removed from the end of the wagon bed and laid on the ground by the corpses。
It was carved with：…
…BucK
BORN ON EARTH
3031 A。D。
… …Dmn ON TillS SPOT
N。B。37… He Always Did His Best …
She said； 〃Lazarus~ I don't understand it。 I can undemta~id why they intended to rape me…I'm probahly the first woman they've seen in many weeks。 I can even understand that they would kill you； or do anything； to get at me。 But why would
… they steal this？〃
〃It's not exactly 'why；' dear 。 。 People who don't respect other people's property will do anything 。 。 and will steal anything that's not nailed down。 Even if they have no use for it。〃 He added； 〃Had I known this earlier； I would have given them no chance。 Such people should be destroyed on sight。 The problem is to identify them。〃
Minerva； Dora is the only woman I ever loved unreservedly。 I don't know that I can explain why。 I did not love her that way when I married her； she had not had a chance as yet to
…teach me what love can be。 Oh； I did love her； but it was the love of a doting father for a favorite child or somewhat like the love one can lavish on a pet。 …
I decided to marry her not through love in any deepest sense but simply because this adorable child who had given me so many hours of happiness wanted something very badly
…my child…and there was only one way I could give her what she wanted and still please my own self…love。 So； almost coldly； I calculated the cost and decided that the price was low enough that I could let her have what she wanted。 It could not cost me much； she was an ephemeral。 Fifty； sixty； seventy； at the most eighty years； and she would be dead。 I could afford to spend that trivial amount of time to make my adopted daughter's pitifully short life happy…that's how I figured it。 It wasn't much； and I could afford it。 So be…it。 …
All the rest was just a case of no half measures； do whatever else is necessary to your main purpose。 I told you some of the possibilities； I may not have mentioned that I considered taking ？ack the captaincy of the Andy I。 for Dora's lifetime； have Zaccur Briggs take the ground side of the partnership or buy him out if that didn't suit him。 But while eighty…odd years in a starship would not stonker me； to Dora it would be a lifetime and it might not suit her。 Besides； a ship is not an ideal place to raise kids…what do you do when they grow up？ Drop' them off somewhere not knowing anything but ship's routine？ Not good。
I decided that the husband of an ephemeral had to be an ephemeral； in every way possible to him。 The corollaries to that decision caused us to wind up in Happy Valley。
Happy Valley… The happiest of all my lives。 The longer I was privileged to live with Dora； the more I loved her。 She taught me to love by loving me； and I learned…rather slowly； I wasn't too good a pupil； being set in my ways and lacking her natural talent。 But I did learn。 Learned that …supreme happiness lies in wanting to keep another person safe and warm and happy； and being privileged； to try。
And the saddest； too。 The more thoroughly I learned this… through living day…on day with Dora…the happier I was
and the more I ached in one corner of my mind with certain knowledge that this could be only a brief time too soon over
…and when it was over； I did not marry again for almost a hundred years。 Then I did； for Dora taught me to face up to death； too。 She was as aware of her own death； of the certain briefness of her life； as I was。 But she taught me to live now； not to let anything sully today 。 。 until at last I got over the sadness of being condemned to live。
We had a wonderfully good time！ Working our arses off； always too much to do； and enjoying every minute。 Never too rushed to enjoy life no matter what。 Sometimes just pat…ass and squeeze…titty as I hurried through the kitchen； ile acknowledging it； sometimes a' lazy hour on the roof invested in watching sunset and stars and moons； usually with 〃Eros〃 to make it sweeter。 …
I guess you could say that sex was our only active amusement for a number of years （and never stopped being in first place as Dora was as enthusiastic at seventy as at seventeen… just not as limber）。 I was usually too tired to play good chess even though I made us a set of chessmen； we had no other games and probably would not have played them anyhow… too busy。 Oh； we did do other things； often one of us would read aloud while the other knitted or cooked or something。 Or we would sing together； coonjining the rhythm while we pitched grain or manure。
We worked together as much as possible； division of labor came only from natural limits。 I can't bear a baby or suckle it； but' I can do anything else for a child。 Dora could not do some th~ga that I did because they were too heavy for her； especially …when she was far gone in pregnancy。 She had more talent fos~ooking than I （I had centuries more experience but not her louch）； and she cpuld cook while she took care of a baby and tended the smallest children； ones too small to join me in the fields。 But I did cook； especially breakfast while she
got the kids …organized； …and she did help work the farm ard especially。the truck garden。 She knew nothing of farming； she learned。 …
Nor did she know construction…she learned。 While I did most of the high work； she made most of the adobe bricks； always with the right amount of straw。 Adobe was not well suited to the climate…too much rain and it can be discouraging to see a wall start to melt because an unexpected rain has caught you before you've topped it。
But… you build from what you have； and it helped that I had the tqps from the wagons to peg against the most exposed walls； until …I worked out a way to waterproof an adobe wall。 I did not consider a log cabin； good timber was too far away。 It took the mules and me a full day to bring in two logs； whi~。h made them too expensive for most construction。 Instead； I made do with smaller stuff that grew along the banks of Buck's River and dragged in logs only for beams。
Nor did I want to build a house that was not as near firep？oof as I could make it。 Baby Dora had once almost been burned to death； I would not risk it again for Dora； or for her children。
But how to make a roof both watertight and fireproof nearly stumped me。 …
I walked past the answer hundreds of times before I recognized it。 When wind and weather and rot and lopers and insects have done their worst on a dead dragon； what is left is almost indestructible。 I discovered this when I tried to bum what was left of a big brute that was unpleasantly close to our pound。 I never did find out why this was so。 Perhaps the biochemistry of those dragons has been investigated since then； but I had neither equipment nor time nor interest； I was too busy scratching a living for my family and was simply delighted to learn that it was true。 Belly hide I cut into fireproof； waterproof tarpaulins； back and sides made excellent roofing。 Later I found many uses for the bones。
We both taught school； indoors and out。 Perhaps our kids had a weird education … … but a girl who can shape a fortable and handsome saddle starting with a dead；… mule and not much else； solve quadratics in her head； shoot straight with gun or arrow； cook an omelet that is light and tastye spout
第44节
… page after page of Shakespeare； butcher a hog and cure it can't be called ignorant by New Beginnings standards。 All our
girls and boys could do all of that and more。 I must admit… that they spoke a rather lorid brand of English； espe ~i