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？I promised to tell you where and how I learned Ia savate and… jujitsu。 But it's a long story； not too nice in spots； one I should not put into a letter but wait until I have a pass that gives me time enough to visit Kansas City。
But I haven't had anyone offer to fight me for at least three months。 One of the sergeant…instructors told me that he had heard that the recruits call me 〃Death〃 Bronson。 I don't mind as long as it means peace and quiet when
？I'moffduty。 ？？
Camp 1~un's…Town continues to have just two sorts of weather； too hot and dusty； too cold and mud4y。 I hear that the latter is good practice fOr France； the Tommies
？here claim that the worst hazard of this war is the danger of drowning in French mud。 The poilus among us don't really argue it but blame the rain on artillery fire。
Bad as the weather may be in France； everyone wants
524to go there； and the second favorite topic of conversation is 〃When？〃 （No need to tell an old soldier the first。） Rumors of s'hipping out are endless and always wrong。
But I'm beginning to wonder。 Am I going to be stuck here； doing the same things month after month while the war goes on elsewhere？ What will I tell my children someday？ Where did you fight the Big War； Daddy？ Funston； Billy。 What part of France is that； Daddy？ Near Topeka；
？Billy…shut up and eat your oatmeal！
？I would have to change my name。
It gets tiresome telling one bunch after another to stack arms and grab shovels。 We've dug enough trenches in this prairie to reach from here to the moon； and I now know four ways to do it： the French way； the British way； the American way…and the way each new bunch of recruits does it； in which the revetments collapse…and then they want to know what difference it
？makes because General Pershing； once we get there； is going to break this trench…warfare stalemate and get those Huns on the run。
They may be right。 But I have to teach what I'm told to teach。 Till I'm white…haired； maybe。
I am pleased indeed to hear that you are in the Seventh Regiment； I know how much it means to you。 But please don't disparage the Seventh Missouri by calling it the 〃home guards。〃 Unless somebody gets a ham…
第74节
？merlock on Hindenburg pretty soon； you may see a lot of action in this war。
？But truthfully； sir； I hope you do not…and I think Captain Smith would agree with my reasoning。 Someone does have to guard the borne…and I mean a specific
？home on Benton Boulevard。 Brian Junior isn't old enough to be the man of the family…I think Captain Smith would worry if you weren't there。
But I do understand how you feel。 I hear that the only way for a sergeant…instructor to get off this treadmill is to lose his stripes。 Would you feel ashamed of me if I went absent over leave just long enough to get busted back to corporal 。 。 then did something else to lose those chevrons； too？ I feel sure it would get me on the first
？troop train headed east。
You'd better not read that last to the rest of the family。 An 〃Honorary Smith〃 had best find some other way。
525My warmest respects to you and to Mrs。 Smith；
？My loveto all the youngsters；
？Ted Bronson 〃Smith〃
（And most happy to be ？adopted〃）
* * *
〃e in！〃
〃Sir； Sergeant Bronson reports to Captain Smith as or dered！〃 （Pop； I wouldn't have recognized you。 But durned ii you don't look just as you ought to。 Only younger。）
〃At ease； Sergeant。 Close that door。 Then sit down。〃
〃Yes； sir。〃 Lazarus did so； still mystified。 He had not onI） never expected Captain Smith to get in touch with him； but he had refrained from asking for a pass long enough to let him go to Kansas City for two reasons： One； his father might be there that weekend…or； two； his father might not be thert that weekend。 Lazarus was not sure which was worse； h had avoided both。
Now a dog…robber type on a motorcycle with a sidecar had suddenly picked him up with orders to 〃Report to Captain Smith〃…and it was not until he had done so that he knew that this 〃Captain Smith〃 was Captain Brian Smith。
〃Sergeant； my father…in…law has told me quite a bit about you。 And so has my wife。〃
There seemed to be no answer to that； so Lazarus looked sheepish and said nothing。
Captain Smith went on； 〃Oh； e； Sergeant； don't look embarrassed； this is man to man。 My family has 'adopted' you； so to speak； and it meets with my heartiest approval。 In fact it fits in with something the War Department is starting； through the Red Cross and the Y。M。C。A。 and the churches； a program to locate every man in uniform who does not get mail regularly and see to it that he does。 Get a family to 'adopt him for the duration' in other words。 Write to him； remember his birthday； send him little presents。 What do you think of that？〃
〃Sir； it sounds good。 What the Captain's family has done for me has certainly been good for my moral~。〃
〃I'm pleased to hear it。 How would you organize such a program？ Speak up； don't be afraid to express your own ideas。〃
？？（Give me a desk and I'll make a career of it； Pop！） 〃Sir； the problem breaks down into two…No； three parts。 Two of preparation； one of execution。 First； locate the men。 Second；
526at the same time； lo~…ate families willing to help。 Third； bring them together。 The first has to he done by the fist sergeants。〃 （The top kicks 。are going to love this…in a pig's eye。） 〃They pany clerks to check mail against the roster before handing it out。 Uh； this must he speeded up； holding up mail call for any reason is not a good idea。 But checking can't be left to platoon sergeants； they aren't set up for it and would slop it。 It has to be at the point where the mail orderly delivers mail to each pany clerk。〃
Lazarus thought。 〃But to make this work； if the Captain will
？pardon me； the manding General must tell his adjutant to require from elich pany； troop； and battery mander a report of how many pieces of mail each man under his corn…
？mand has received that week。〃 （And a damnable invasion of privacy； and the sort of multiplication of clerical work that bogs down armies！ The bomesick ones have homes and （10 get mail。 The loners don't want letters； they want women and whiskey。 The prairie dog pee they sell for whiskey in this 〃dry〃 state has made a teetotaler of me。） 〃But that should not be separate paper work； Captain； it need only be a column of tally marks on the regular weekly report。 Both pany manders and top sergeants are going to bellyache if it's too time…consuming…and the manding General would receive reports that would be mostly products of pany clerks' imaginations。 The Captain knows that； I feel sure。〃
？Lazarus' father gave the grin that made him look like Teddy Roosevelt。 〃Sergeant； you have iust caused me to revise a letter I'm preparing for the General。 As long as I am assigned to 'Plans & Training' no new program will add to the mountain of paper work if I can help it。 I have been trying to sweat this one down to size； and you've shown me a way to do it。 Tell me； why did you turn down officers' training when it was offered to you？ Or don't tell me if you don't want to； it's your business。〃
？（Pop； I'm going to have to lie to you…for I can't point out that a platoon leader has a life expectancy of around twenty minutes if he takes his platoon 〃over the top〃 and does it by the Book。 What a war！） 〃Sir； look at it this way。 Suppose I put in for it。 A month to get it approved。 Then three months at Benning； or Leavenworth； or wherever they're sending them。 Then back here； or Bliss； or somewhere and I'll be assigned to recruits。 Six months with them and we g~ ？verseas。 More training behind the lines 'Over There' from what I hear。 Adds
up to about a year； and the waris over； and I haven't been
？in it。〃
〃Mmm 。 。 you could be right。 You want to go to France？〃
〃Yes； sir！〃 （Christ； no！）
〃Just last Sunday； in K。C。； my father…in…law told me that
？would be your answer。 But you may not know； Sergeant； that the billet you are in will be just as frustrating 。 。 without the pensation of bars on your shoulders。 Hcre in 'Plans & Training' we keep track of every enlisted instructor…and the ones who don't work out we ship out 。 。 but the ones who do work out we hang onto like grim death。
〃Except forone thing…〃 His father smiled again。 〃We have been asked…the polite word for 'ordered'…to supply some of our best instructors for that behind…the…lines training in France you mentioned。 I knoade it a point to note the weekly reports on you ever since my father…in…law told me about you。 Surprising proficiency for a man with no bat time 。 。 plus a slight tendency to be nonregulation about minor points； which…privately…I do not find a drawback； the utterly regulation soldier is a barracks soldier。 Est…ce que vous parlez la langue franise？〃
〃Oui； mon capitaine。〃
〃Eh； bien！ Peut…re vous avez enr？autrefois en la Legion Etrange； n'est…ce pas？〃
〃Pardon； mon capitaine？ Je ne prends pas。〃
〃Nor will I understand you if we talk three more words of it。 But I'm studying hard； as I expect French to be my own ticket out of this dusty place。 Bronson； forget that I asked that question。 But I must ask one more and I want an absolutely straight answer。 Is there any possibility whatever that any French authority might be looking for you？ I don't give a tinker's dam what you may have done in the past； and neither does the War Department。 But we must protect our own。〃
Lazarus barely hesitated。 （Pop is telling me plain as print that if I am a deserter from the Foreign Legion…or have escaped from Devil's Island or any such…he's going to keep me out of French jurisdiction。） 〃Absolutely none； sir！〃
〃I'm relieved to hear it。 There have been latrine rumors that Pop Johnson could neither confirm nor deny。 Speaking of him…Stand up a moment。 Now left face； please。 And about face。 Bronson； I'm convinced。 I don't remember my wife's Uncle Ned； but I would give long odds that you are related to
？527
528my father…in…law； and his theory certainly fits。 Which makes us 'kinfolk' of some sort。 After the war is over； perhaps we can dig into it。 But I understand that my children call you 'Uncle Ted' 。 。 which seems close enough and suits me if it suits you。〃
〃Sir； it does； indeed！ It's good to have a family； under any assumption。〃
？〃I think so。 Just one more thing 。 。 and this you must forget once you go out that door。 I think that a rocker for those
昪hevrons will show up one of these days 。 。 and not long after you'll be wven a short leave that you haven't requested。 When tklat happens； don't start any continued stories。 prenezvous？〃
〃Mais oui； mon capitaine； certainement。〃
〃I wish I could tell you that we will be in the same outfit； Pop Johnson would like that。 But I can't。 In the meantime please remember that I ha