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nt you to be good enough to send a certificate acknowledging the payment of each of these items and stating that you signed a receipt for each when it was paid。 They are under the impression that Colonel Brooke； who kept the accounts； never took care to get receipts： the fact being that he was most careful on this point； but that the vouchers and some of the accounts also were； most of them； lost during the siege of Pretoria。
The officers of the Treasury have reflected upon my personal honesty； and Mr。 Courtney has amused himself by writing some facetious paragraphs； this has of course furnished more or less amusing reading for the society journals。 The Colonial Office defended me very vigorously； but I have strongly resented such treatment and shown the injustice and untruthfulness of it； or any foundation for it； in a memo。 to the Secretary of State。 Meanwhile the Treasury withhold my pension。
This letter is horribly egotistical so far； but I could not help it； as I explained on the first page。
As things have turned out； it was a fortunate thing that you left this country when you did。 Our condition as Englishmen； or rather the condition of our Government in regard to this country； reminds me strongly of the craven soldiers under Baker Pasha when they were beaten by the Arabs at Teb： they are described as meekly kneeling to meet their fate。 That is exactly what the British Government have been doing； since Majuba； in Africa。 The Boers have now taken possession of Central Zululand； and they are quite right to do so。 The Government allowed anarchy to run rampant on their ＇the Boer’s＇ border； and then publicly declared in the House of mons that they intended to leave the Zulus to settle their affairs in their own way； and they called in the Boers to settle them for them on the promise of giving them land。 They have made the boy Dinizulu king； and have helped the Usutu party to destroy Sibelu； who was made independent by the British Government within boundaries formally assigned and pointed out to him。 This was part of their bargain。 Now they ＇i。e。 the Boers＇ are negotiating for the land they are to get； and as the king’s party have got all they wanted to get out of the Boers； I shall not be surprised if some difficulty should arise between them。 It was at one time feared that the Boers might not respect the Reserve； and so bring on a collision between them and the Government； and that would of course mean a very serious difficulty in the whole of South Africa； but I hope that there is no fear of this for the present at any rate。
Poor old Osborn seems to be quite worn out by all the worry that he has had ever since he left the Transvaal； and I do not wonder at it； he has not been allowed to rule； and yet has been required to interfere； so in the eyes of the Zulus； as indeed in those of everyone else； he is neither fish； flesh nor good red herring。 。 。 。 Sir Henry Bulwer has a very bad time of it； he sees and says what ought to be done； but there is no response； and things are left to drift； until some eddy or other in the stream strands them。 I am very sorry； often； for him； and I ＇think＇ that if it were not for his sense of loyalty to the Government at home he would throw up。 。 。 。 I have had a serious illness since I came back from England； congestion of liver； but am well again。 With much love to you both；
T。 Shepstone。
Can anything be more piteous than the tale the aged statesman tells in the above epistle？ He； of all men the most spotless and upright in character； to have reflections made upon his “personal honesty；” and by the servants of the Government which he had served with such signal faithfulness throughout a long life！ Only a very little while before this letter was written those who； or whose masters； were seeking to brand him as a mon thief had e to him for help in their difficulties； asking him once more to visit Zululand and further their tortuous and wretched policy by carrying out the restoration of Cetewayo。 I believe that the annexation of the Transvaal； which cost a million to surrender and two or three hundred times that sum to reconquer； was effected at an expense of about 10；000 pounds in all。 It was this paratively insignificant sum that； nearly seven years subsequently to its disbursement； was subjected to the microscopic examination of the Treasury clerks。 Vouchers； as he says； were lost or destroyed during a prolonged siege； and here was a great opportunity of throwing mud at an honoured name； and of causing its owner； already sinking towards the grave； to spend his last years in poverty by depriving him of the pension that he had earned。
Now； as I am involved in this matter — to the extent of 45 pounds sterling — I had better defend myself； lest in due course reflections should be made upon my honesty as well as upon that of my Chief。 The 25 pounds was； I believe； given to me to cover certain out…of…pocket expenses； I being at the time totally unpaid。 The 20 pounds was pensation for a horse of more than that value which died when I was serving with the Secocoeni mission upon a somewhat arduous business。 In after years the Treasury wrote to me direct about this said horse。 I answered that； so long a time having elapsed； I could not carry the details of the loss in my mind； but that to save the trouble of further correspondence I should be happy； if they wished it； to send them a cheque for the amount。 To this proposal I am still awaiting a reply。
Such is the treatment that the greatest Empire in the world can mete out to its servants if their services chance to have proved inconvenient to the political prospects of the party in power。 Well； as Gunnar said in the immortal Saga； when one whom he trusted refused to help him in his uttermost need and gave him to his death； “Every one seeks honour in his own fashion。” It would appear that the fashion of party hacks； however exalted or successful； does not always agree with the tradition and practice of the average English gentleman。 But over such a matter it is easy to lose one’s balance and write without a desirable moderation。 So I will leave the facts to speak for themselves。 It seems to me that no words of mine can make them blacker than they are； nor indeed do I wish to dwell upon them more。 To me； at least； they are too painful。 Let history judge。
After the Zulu disaster a mounted corps； which was christened the Pretoria Horse and posed for the most part of well…bred men； was enrolled in that town。 In the emergency of the times officials were allowed to join； a permission of which I availed myself。 At a preliminary meeting of the corps I was elected adjutant and one of the two lieutenants； the captain being a Mr。 Jackson； a colonial gentleman of great experience。
I was； and indeed still am； very proud of the pliment thus paid to me by my rades while I was still so young a man。 We were ordered to proceed to Zululand with Weatherley’s corps。 As it chanced； at the last moment these orders were countermanded； which perhaps was fortunate for us； since otherwise in all human probability our bones would now be rotting beneath the soil of Zululand in pany with those of the ill…fated Weatherley’s Horse。
The reason for this change of plan was that of a sudden the Boers； seeing the difficulties of the English Government and knowing that the Zulus were not now to be feared； as their hands were full； began to threaten rebellion so vigorously that it was deemed necessary to retain us for the defence of Pretoria。 To the number of about three thousand men they assembled themselves upon the high veld at a distance of thirty miles from Pretoria and here formed a semi…permanent armed camp。 I was sent out in mand of six or eight picked men to an inn that I think was called Ferguson’s； situated a few miles from this camp。 We were unarmed except for our revolvers； and the object of my mission was to watch the Boers。 I had my spies in the camp； and every night one or other of these men crept out and reported to me what had taken place during the day and any other information he could collect。 This I forwarded to Pretoria； by letter if I thought it safe； or； if I had reason to fear that my messenger would be stopped and searched； by means of different…coloured ribbons； each of which had a prearranged significance。 At different points along the road I had horsemen hidden day and night； and； as my messenger galloped up； the relief emerged to meet him； took the despatch or the ribbon； and in his turn galloped away to the next relief。 In this fashion I used to get in news to the military authorities very quickly； covering the twenty…five miles of rough country in about an hour even on the darkest nights。 Cochrane； I remember； was nearly killed by his horse falling with him in the blackness when engaged upon this dangerous and exciting duty。
I gather from the following document scribbled in pencil by my captain； but undated； that somehow has survived to this day； that my letters were very hurriedly written。 Here it is：
Dear Haggard； — Your last safely to hand。 The only thing meant in my last about writing clearly was that we could hardly make out some of the words。 Colonel Lanyon10 said he could see that you had written in too great a hurry。 It is better to take a minute longer in writing to prevent any word being misread here； which might lead to fatal results。 Would you like me to send a good stock of food？ It was no fault of mine that it was not taken with you。 The Landdrost’s instructions were imperative that the men should take nothing。 Parents are wiring into me now and say they hear their sons are starving。 Would you like any of the men relieved？ I should not ask； but do it； only they seem to have got so very nicely into the thing that I would prefer them staying on unless you think I should send some fresh ones。 I think that for the next few days it will not be necessary to send very often。 However I leave this to you。 We are not having all beer and skittles here。 What with guards and fortifying； our time is well taken up。 I have sent down for your letters； also Cochrane’s。
Yours very sincerely；
E。 Jackson。
10 Colonel （afterwards Sir Owen） Lanyon succeeded Sir T。 Shepstone when he went home。
After a while the Boers in the camp got wind of my proceedings； and a large party of them； from thirty to fifty men I should say； rode to the inn fully armed； with the avowed intention of shooting us。 In this emergency I； as the officer in mand； had on the instant to make up my mind what to do。 To attempt flight would； it seemed to me； betray the truth as to the reason of our presence。 Moreover we should almost certainly have been captured。 So I determined that we should stop where we were。
They came； they dismounted； they stormed and threatened。 I on my part gave orders that no man was to suffer himself to be drawn into a quarrel or to do anything unless we were actually attacked； when all had liberty to sell their lives as dearly as they could。 I can see them now； standing about and sitting round the large room of the inn with their rifles between their knees。 I sat in my little room surveying them through the open door； pretending to understand nothing and to be engaged in some ordinary occupation； such as reading or writing。
After an hour or two of this things came